Dealing with family wedding conflict

Although weddings are moments for happiness and joy, planning and organizing them (sometimes even attending them) can cause a lot of tension between the pair's families or among the member of the same family.

Problems usually appear because everybody is under pressure to do everything well, to make everything perfect for the big event. Then there is the difference of the opinions: your mother says that she hasn't done that at her wedding, you reply that her wedding was 30 years a go; you father in law has some old buddies that he wishes to invite, you don't know them and you don't want them; your sister tells you that the roses are fashion out, but you love them anyway for your wedding; your aunt continuous to complain at the phone that she hates planes, but she can't travel two days by car (and of course she has to come); your cousin continues to tease you that you will be a married, so that is the end of your freedom and your good life.

Maybe they don't really mean to get on your nerves, but they can definitely succeed. But they are your family (or future family) so will do you no good to break the relation or to start on the wrong foot with the new ones. What do you do then?

Firstly make yourself alliance with the family members that you do like.  Sometimes they can keep “the battles” for you or at least they can be there for moral support.

Remember they are your future parents (or relatives) and he/she may be hurt by your lack of diplomacy. After the wedding you will have all the time in the world to deal with them. Right now, you don't need addition stress. You have enough with organizing everything.

When you receive advice (even unwanted) be polite and thank for them, no matter how useless it is for you.

Don't (just don't) fight with your partner over some discussions with his/her family. Don't put him/her in the middle. Separate the relations between you two and your families.

Accept that people are different and they have different opinions. Don't try to change their mind when it is not the case. Do it your way, but be respectful, don't patronize or humiliate the others for having a different opinion.

And remember to keep things in perspective: after the wedding everybody will be more relaxed and you can see things more clearly.

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