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Best Man Speech Jokes

A wedding is a very serious affair and it is an honor to be asked by the groom to be his best man. The tradition is for the best manís speech to be the longest but also amusing.  This speech will set the tone for the rest of wedding.

The typical first joke the best man tells is - The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

Since the best man is the groomsí best friend, much of the teasing will be directed towards his relative/friend.  Some typical jokes are:

I can honestly say that in all the years I've known him, no one has ever questioned the groomís intelligence. In fact, I've never heard anyone even mention it.

Itís not that the groom is lazy, but marriage is an expensive way to get laundry done for free.

He said he is going to be a model husband. I needed to know the real meaning of this so I looked it up in the dictionary. It said "A model is a miniature replica of the real thing."

The best man might also give his friend a warning about what to expect after marriage:

An elderly woman rushed up the stairs to the church, late for the wedding. An usher asked to see her invitation.

"I don't have one," she said.

"Well then, are you a friend of the groom?"

"I should say not," snapped the woman, "I'm the bride's mother!"

Of course, no best man could pass up the opportunity to pick on the bride or the brideís family

Why do married men put on weight? Because they used to come in, take a look at what's in the fridge and then go to bed. Now they take a look at what's in the bed, and then go straight to the fridge.

Youíve married Miss Right. Did you know her first name was Always.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

And some of the jokes will make fun of marriage giving every married couple a laugh:

Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, And suffer-ring.

Do you realize 25% of all married men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house?  Of these same men 90% will kiss their house goodbye when their wife leaves.

Best men have even been known to actually say nice things to the happy couple:

Here's to the groom, a man who keeps his head though he loses his heart.

To my best friend and his beautiful new bride - May all you  ups and downs be in the bedroom.

Humor is a great way to set a festive mood for the wedding.  But the final comments of the best man will be his toast should always be happy and bring a smile to the wedding couple.

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