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Wedding Jokes

Wedding Jokes

While weddings are a very solemn occasion, it is also a very stressful time and people often use jokes to ease the tension.  Jokes usually revolve a round a few common themes.

Many of the jokes concern the bride having to take care of the groom:

   Question: Why does the bride always wear white?

   Answer: Because it's always good for the dishwasher to match the fridge and stove.

   A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"  The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."  The son thanks  his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"  The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

For some reason, we seem to enjoy teasing couples that they will be miserable together:

   The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"  Her mother replied, "so what do you want from me, sympathy?" Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: "yes dear"

   Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

   Marriage is an institution where two people come together to joint solve the problems they never had before they got married.

   Getting married is like being hanged; you tie the knot, the bottom drops out, and soon your life is over !!

Of course, there are many sexual jokes

   On the morning after their wedding night, the groom called down to their hotel's room service to order breakfast.  For himself he ordered one pound of bacon, twelve fried eggs, and two gallons of orange juice to restore his fluids.  For his wife he ordered a plain head of lettuce.  The clerk was surprised by the latter and said, "won't your wife be wanting anything else?"  "Not at this point," the groom replied, "I'm conducting an experiment to see if she eats like a rabbit, too."

   "The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it."

   A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23.   The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.  But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.  She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel.  The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"  The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!!"

We also enjoy the innocence of children and their thoughts about weddings: a little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "mommy, why does the girl wear white?" his mom replies, "the bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life." the boys thinks about this, and then says, "well then, why is the boy wearing black..."

    A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"  The father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

Isnít it amazing how we can find so many jokes to tease people during a happy occasion.

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